Did you know a transgender men are denied Pell grants because they aren't allowed to sign up for selective service?
Wife: yes, actually
they have to be legally female in order to qualify
or actually (and legally) male to register
same-sex marriages aren't recognized for financial aid purposes
even if they are legally married by state law
me: Oh really? I didn't know that
me: What about polygamy?
Wife: those aren't legal anywhere
You can claim the wives/children as members of the household if you or your legal spouse provides 50% or more of their support
me: What about pets?
Wife: but if you're not legally married to your spouse and he provides support for you, you file your own taxes, and he claims your children instead of you, you'll have a tough time even getting them to count as members in the household
Wife: pets? uhh
me: what about monkeys?
oh oh! What about if you USE a monkey to make money - like an organ grinder, then use that MONEY to SUPPORT THE MONKEY?
Wife: it counts as your income and the monkey is not counted as a member of your household
me: Is the monkey an asset?
cause I think it would be a liability
or a dependent
unless I put it in a blender - then it would be a liquid asset
the monkey is not counted as a personal asset, but rather a business asset
the same as a car or building
I wonder if his value can depreciate over time as he gets older and less cute
me: I imagine that if you bought him some groucho marx glasses, his value could be increased
depending on how much he wears them
I suppose you could staple them to his head, but that would certainly depreciate his value
Wife: but would that be a legal appreciation or not?
me: I guess it depends on if Animal Control sees the staples